Dark Memories and Desperate Whispers
by mallorythewriter
Summary: Damon's back from the dead. Which is everything Elena has been hoping for. Only problem; he doesn't remember his life as a vampire. Seriously, this summary really sucks. Please R&R, it's better than it sounds. Rating may change.
1. Chapter 1

Elena's POV  
I sat beside Damon's grey body, clutching his hand as tight as I could. _Wake up. _I silently begged. _Please, Damon, wake the hell up. _"It didn't work." I heard Stefan mumble to Bonnie. My heart dropped. I'd been through so much. Lost so many people. But I'd never felt anything worse than the hopeless pain that engulfed me after those words. Why had I put so much faith into this? Everyone told me it was a long shot but I didn't listen. The reality of Damon being truly dead was just too hard to face. It couldn't happen. I couldn't fathom a world with no Damon Salvatore. All the pain I'd felt in the past two months multiplied and swelled over me. A single tear slid down my cheek before I broke.

"Damn it." I muttered, rage blending with the remorse. "Damn it, damn it, damn it!" I screamed, tears rushing out of my eyes. "Elena," A voice, probably Stefan, tried. I ignored him. "Damn it!" I sobbed over and over again, pounding the ground until my fists were bleeding. I felt a hand on my shoulder. "Don't touch me!" I shouted, jerking away. My eyes fell on Damon. "How could you?" I wailed. "How could you leave me alone? You promised! You promised you would never leave me again!" I slammed my fist against the ground again. "You promised." I whispered, my voice utterly defeated. I layed my head against his chest, too weak too hold myself up. My tears soaked through his shirt.

After awhile, I felt arms wrap around me. I leaned into them, still bawling. "It's me, Elena." My brother whispered. I swallowed and nodded, letting him help me stand. "We're gonna head back home, ok?" He asked gently, stroking my hair. I made a choking sound. "It's gonna be ok, Elena." Jeremy assured me. I didn't respond. Sure, I could've nodded in agreement or given my thanks. But there was no use. Because I knew it wasn't true. It wasn't going to be ok. _I _wasn't going to be ok. I heard someone coughing, but ignored it. The cough rapidly got louder and harsher. "Oh my god." Bonnie whispered. I spun around, my heart about to beat out of my chest.

Damon coughed again, writhing in pain. In too much shock to move, I stood and watched in awe as Stefan rushed to side. I leaned against Jeremy for support as my knees began to wobble. Stefan held two fingers to his brothers neck. "Elena, he has a pulse. He's human." I stayed silent, in complete awe. "Stefan?" Damon's voice rung in my ears, once the coughing died down. "Hey." Stefan replied, helping him sit up. Stefan glanced at me, beckoning for me to come over. I grinned and carefully stepped forward. Tears poured silently down my face as I knelt beside him. "Damon." I whispered, taking his hand. He smiled and whispered, "Katherine."

My smile faded. "W-what?" I got out, pulling my hand away. "Damon, this is Elena." Stefan spoke up, confusion in his voice. "Who?" Damon asked. "Damon, it's me. Elena." I tried. "Katherine, what are you talking about? I don't know an Elena." My world came crashing down around me. All the time I spent working to get him back. So we could finally be together. He was finally back and he didn't remember me. Tears were still streaming out of my eyes, but they were no longer tears of joy. "Katherine, why are you crying?" Damon asked, wiping the tears away with his thumb. For a split second I relished the warmth of his hand against my face. _But it isn't real. _I reminded myself. I pushed his hand away. "I'm not Katherine." "I don't understand." Damon replied, sincerity in his tone.

My heart broke even more. "Damon, what year do you think it is?" Stefan asked. "1864." He replied matter of factly. I held my face in my hands. "Elena, relax." Stefan whispered. "Relax? He doesn't remember the past two hundred years! He doesn't remember _me._" "We'll figure it out." Desperation took over. "How?" I spat. "I don't know." I looked away. I thought nothing would hurt more than Damon dying, but I wasn't sure if this was any better. "Right now let's just go home." "Fine." I muttered, standing up. I walked away and let Stefan help his brother. "Elena, I am so sorry." Bonnie said, stroking my arm. I backed away, earning a look of confusion. "You should be. This is your fault! You screwed up the goddamn spell!" She shook her head, hurt. I brushed past her, and Jeremy.

I lingered in the doorway of Damon's room, as Stefan showed Damon around. "I still don't understand." Damon said, examining the area. "Like I said, we had Katherine's blood in our system when we died." I noticed that he avoided mentioning it was their father who'd killed them. "You didn't want to turn but I," He looked down. "I forced you. We didn't talk for awhile, like decades. When I saw you again you'd just learned how to feed properly. When you tried to show me I found out I was a ripper and I blamed you."

As Stefan's story continued, I saw a look of confusion cross Damon's face. I wasn't surprised, considering how close they were as humans. "Then we met Elena." He gestured for me to enter the room. I did so and waited silently as Stefan explained everything that had happened, all the way up to Damon's death.

"I loved you?" He asked, meeting my gaze. "Yes." I whispered, fighting back tears. "But you didn't love me?" I swallowed and looked away. "At first, anyway." He added, seeing he'd struck a nerve. "I think it was more of not being able to admit it." I replied. "But I do love you. More than anything." This time he looked away.

It stung a bit, but I tried not to show it. "Elena, maybe you should go home and check on Jer." Stefan spoke up. I bit back tears and nodded, leaving the room. Once I was downstairs, I let the tears stream down my cheeks. "Hey." Stefan grabbed my shoulder, turning me around. "I'm sorry, I just thought," "No, you were right. Obviously I wasn't helping." I said through tears. "We'll figure this out." He said sternly. I scoffed and turned to leave. "You're not staying?" "Why would I? He doesn't want me here. He doesn't even know me!" "But it's Damon." Stefan replied forcefully. "Don't you get that? This is the same Damon we've been fighting to have back for months. And you're giving up on him because he doesn't remember _you_? I didn't know you were that selfish." I frowned, taken back by Stefan's harshness. "Fine." I choked out. "I'll stay."

I slipped into an unused bedroom down the hall from Damon's. I examined my reflection. The girl in the mirror looked so exhausted. She had bags under her already bloodshot eyes and her cheeks were stained with tears. None of this was supposed to happen. She was supposed to be happy. Happier than she'd ever been in her life. In the arms of her lover, who she'd been longing for since he died. But the girl was not happy or in the arms of her lover. She was broken. Lost. As much as before. I thought back to what Stefan had said. I was being selfish, wasn't I? Damon was alive and I should've been jumping for joy about that. But I couldn't. He didn't love me anymore. And I'd never known a Damon who didn't love me. What if he was even worse than in the beginning, when we first met. A part of me even feared he was a better person. I always thought of myself as someone who helped him be the better man. But what if, really, I was the one holding him back?

"How do you feel?" My vampire hearing picked up Stefan's voice. "Strange." Damon replied. "Are any memories coming back?" There was a pause, I assumed Damon wasn't shaking his head. "Maybe it just takes time." Stefan mumbled, insecurity in his tone. "Brother, I don't understand. Why do you not love our Katherine anymore? Why do you claim I don't either?" I took a few steps closer, intrigued. "She didn't love us, Damon. She only cares about herself. You knew that once." "You're wrong." Damon's reply was instantaneous. I leaned against the door, letting my mind begin to stray. How was I supposed to make Damon love me again if he was still in love with Katherine?


	2. Chapter 2

Elena's POV  
Breathing. Actual breathing. The rising and falling of a chest. The beat of a heart. The pulse of a human. I could hear it all from my room. And it was Damon's. My Damon was human. But then, he wasn't really mine was he? His heart belonged to Katherine. I cringed at the thought. How could he love her? She'd hurt him more than anyone. Not that he remembered any of that. I shifted in the warm bed, pondering the thought. Maybe there was a silver lining to all this. Damon didn't remember all the pain and suffering he'd been through. He could have a clean slate with Stefan. With everybody. Even me. But I didn't want a clean slate. I wanted the Damon I knew and loved.

_But this isn't about you. _I reminded myself, becoming aware of my selfish tendencies. No, it was not about me. It was about Damon. He deserved to love someone who loved him. And that was most certainly not Katherine Pierce. I sat up, fueled with determination. I had a job to do. Even if I couldn't win Damon's heart, I was at least going to get it away from Katherine. Not that I had any intention of giving up on winning his love back.

I strode down the hall, a new confidence in my heart. I was going to be ok. Damon was alive and that's what mattered. But a hint of fear lingered in the back of my mind. What if Damon never loved me again? The thought of losing him again made me sick. I stopped in my tracks, noticing Damon's door was open just a crack. I peered through. He was reading an older looking, leather bound book. Longed ached in my heart. I just wanted to touch him. To feel him. To remind myself he was with me now. His eyes flicked up, startling me. I turned to leave, but he stopped me. "You can come in." I swallowed, anxiously pushing through the door. "Sorry." I mumbled, sitting on the edge of the bed.

I fiddled with my thumbs, anxiously rubbing them against the palm of my hand. "What are you reading?" "Stefan's journal." He replied, closing the book. "He gave those to you?" I examined the book. Yes, it was Stefan's diary. I'd seen it before. Read it, actually. In fact, I believed I was the only one. I grimaced, remembering the horrors inside. "I know." Damon spoke up, noticing my expression. "It's awful. I can't believe my brother has done such things. He's always been the most noble man I know."

A dead silence hung in the air. I didn't know how to respond to that. And I couldn't change the subject; I had nothing to say. I gnawed on my lip, trying to avoid eye contact. "Have I done things like this?" He finally asked. There was a deep vulnerability in his voice that unsettled me. I lowered my gaze, trying to decide how to answer. "We've all done horrible things." I explained my voice barely above a whisper. "But we all regret those things and we try to move on." He smirked a bit, giving my butterflies. I tried to suppress a smile, but failed. "You've done horrible things?" It sounded as if he'd just realized I said _we. _"I killed someone. He wasn't a good person. But I killed him and I'll always regret it." "One person isn't much compared to Stefan."

I considered this. "I've lost a lot of people I cared about. And I blamed myself. Some of it was my fault. My parents, my aunt Jenna," I met his gaze. "You." We stared into each other's eyes for a moment. I could literally feel the electricity of the connection between us. It wasn't a new feeling. Perhaps it was for Damon, but not me. I couldn't even count the times this had happened between Damon and me. "Damon," Stefan entered the room. Being interrupted during these moments was nothing knew either. Damon's eyes quickly snapped to his brother, but I kept mine on the eldest Salvatore. "Oh," Stefan breathed out. I finally dragged my eyes across the room to Stefan, who was still frozen in the doorway. "It's fine." I mumbled. Sneaking a peek at Damon; he was still looking at Stefan, which made my heart drop a little.

"I, um. We have a problem." I glanced at Damon. "Elena, can we..." Stefan gestured for me to follow him. I stood shakily, anxiety rising in my gut. Something about his tone and expression gave me a sickening feeling of foreboding. "What is it?" I asked, following him downstairs. "Hello, Elena." Said a devilish voice I knew all too well. "Katherine."

She smirked and strut across the foyer, her enormous heels clacking against the wood floor. I inspected my doppelganger. Of course she looked exactly like me, except for the dark, cascading curls in her hair. Thanks to her five inch heeled leather boots, she stood taller than me as well. "What are you doing here?" I questioned, my tone cold. She grinned evilly. "Just wanted to check up on my good friends here in Mystic Falls." "Cut the crap." Stefan growled. "What's wrong, Stefan? We aren't hiding something are we?" My heart skipped a beat. Did she know about Damon? No; she couldn't. "Maybe I just don't want you here." He shot back, calmer than me.

He glimpsed at me, worry in his eyes. If Damon found out Katherine was here, he'd want to see her. And, because she was Katherine, she'd manipulate him. "Don't be rude." She scolded, taking a few steps toward me. "Elena, you look nervous. Is something wrong?" "Why are even here?" I spat. "Why wouldn't I be?" "Klaus wants you dead." She shrugged, as if it were nothing. "True. But I don't see Klaus anywhere. Do you?" She was right. Klaus had left town as soon as we discovered there was no cure. We hadn't seen him since. "What do you want?" I asked again, surprised by my forcefulness. "A few things. But those are down the road. Right now, I'm just curious to see if what I've heard is true." A lump formed in my throat. "And what's that?" Stefan stepped in. "That Damon's alive. And human." She added with a smirk. "What a twist." "Damon is dead." I snapped, my voice riddled with anger and pain.

I wasn't acting. All those emotions I had bottled up, from Damon's death, and his new situation, had been threatening to burst out of me. Finally, I had an excuse to let them. "Is that so?" "Yes." Stefan said sternly. Her eyebrow shot up. "Then why are you two so jittery? You look like you've seen a ghost." She took a step forward, a wicked look in her eyes. "Or have you?" "Leave. Now. Before I kill you." I seethed. I could feel the bloodshot veins dripping down my face. "Whoa there, Killer." She retorted, clearly not intimidated. "Just go, Katherine." Stefan pressed. "No." The girl replied tauntingly. I opened my mouth to speak, but was cut off. "Katherine?"

I spun around. Damon stood across from us, his eyes wide. _Please no. _"Damon." Katherine replied, sending a wink in my direction. I took a step toward her, threatening to break. Stefan grabbed my arm, shaking his head. I yanked my arm free, scowling at both Stefan and Katherine. "Well," Katherine started innocently, her eyes focusing on _my _Damon. "Did you miss me?"

**A/N: Well? What do you think? Kind of ended on a cliffy. I'll try to post the next chapter sometime next week. I know this one was a little tame, but we'll get into the more exciting stuff soon. I think chapter three will have a lot of Elena fighting/longing for Damon, something I wish there was more in the show. Ps; sorry this was a short chapter.**

**Thank you **_**so **_**much**__** to everyone who reviewed! I'm already having a ton of fun writing this story, I'm so glad you guys are reading! Remember to review this chapter too. I could use a little, you know, encouragement ;) **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I am so sorry. There is no excuse for how long it took me to update. A horrible case of writers block mixed with a difficult time personally is the only excuse I have for you. I think I know what I want to with this now, though. Anyway, sorry this chapter is so short. I wanted to do a quick bit in Kat's POV before continuing with Elena's POV. **

Katherine's POV

To my surprise, Damon rushed across the room, connecting our lips. I stayed motionless for a second, too shocked to move. But eventually, I kissed back with passion, wrapping my hand around his neck. I smirked against his lips, knowing Elena was fuming. I pulled away, flicking my eyes over to Elena. She looked as if she was about to snap and attack me right there, but I wasn't afraid. She couldn't take me if she tried. I glanced back at Damon who was smiling at me. It was a genuine, happy smile that I hadn't seen in decades. I didn't know he was even capable of smiling. He wasn't the happy, naive man I'd known and loved. He'd been destroyed by pain and death and, well, me.I felt my lips creep up into a small smile, too. We used to do this all the time, when he was human and in love with me. No matter who we were with or how boring the conversation was, Damon and I would just stare at each other and end up grinning like idiots.

It occurred to me that Damon was acting nothing like himself. Or everything like himself. I quickly put the pieces together. When they'd brought him back, he came back human. Probably with no memory of his time as a vampire, considering the kiss and the fact that Elena had tears in her eyes. This could be great for me. Something was happening. Something big. And Stefan and Elena were sure to be my greatest enemies in this war, with Klaus being gone. And now I had the one thing on this earth that they both loved. Not to mention, I rather liked human Damon. As a vampire he did have that sexy, dangerous vibe but he didn't have the gentle touch my Damon did.

"Damon, she isn't who you think she is. She's just using you, that's all she's ever done." Elena whispered. God, I hated her. She thought she deserved everything. She took Stefan from me when I wanted him. Well, it was her turn. She wasn't getting Damon Salvatore from me any time soon. Damon had looked over at her, their eyes were locked on each others. I couldn't deny there was some sort of a connection there. "Damon," I spoke up. "Are you really going to trust some girl you barely know over me?" I cupped his face in my hands. "You know I love you. Are you so sure about her?" "Don't listen to her." Elena pressed. I fought an eye roll. This girl just didn't give up. "I wouldn't be so rude, Elena. You're not better than me and you know it." She looked down. _Well that was easy._ "Damon doesn't remember any of that. We might just have to fill him in on the gory details." "You've hurt him more than me. More than anyone." She shot back, suddenly angry again.

I noticed neither of the brothers had chimed in. I wasn't surprised Damon had said anything. He was practically I lost little puppy at that point. But I assumed Stefan would had some big "I have to protect my brother" speech up his sleeve. But he just stood there, glaring at me. "Nothing to add, Stefan? Or are you relieved? Finally, the competition is gone and you can have Elena all to yourself." "Shut up, Katherine." He growled. I smiled. That got to him. I swear those three, Elena and the Salvatores, I mean, were the easiest to mess with. It must've been the emotions. They had too much love and pain swirling around in their heads to hold their own. I remembered that. Being human, having feelings. Let me tell you, it's over rated.

"Now, let's not be rude. He kissed me. What happened to him anyway? Last I checked Damon was ready to stake me himself." "I would never." Damon replied. I sent a wink in his direction, loving the angry huff that Elena let out. "After he died Bonnie used a spell to bring him back. It didn't really work out the way she planned." Stefan explained. "Meaning he doesn't remember anything." I finished. I let out a laugh. "Shut up." Elena muttered. "It's just so ironic. Poor Elena's never known a Salvatore that didn't worship he ground she walks on." "I said shut up." Elena said, raising her voice. My lips curled into a devilish smile. "We all have so much to talk about."

**A/N: So? I know it wasn't my best chapter. I'm not great at writing Katherine. But I hope you liked it and that it will hold you over until my next chapter, which will not be so short. Please R&R and forgive me for the long wait for a short chapter. **


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